Lockdown Limerick competition to end

Winner: Susan R 

It really is not very smart

To stand less than 2 meters apart

But there are those who do

And they’ll catch the flu

Then end up on the government chart 

2^nd place: Kathy C 

The Rotarians from Wensleydale Club

Could no longer meet at the Pub

But there’s no doom and gloom

‘Cos they now meet on Zoom

And they don’t have to buy wine or grub 

3^rd place: David B

An A.G. called Susan we’ve gotten,

Likes baking and things best forgotten.

The scale of her task

is obscured by her mask,

What’s next, a Burka in cotton ?

The other limericks: 

There was a young lady called Rogers

Who got mixed up with some old codgers,

She had high hopes for this lot

But soon found they did not

As she realised these codgers were dodgers! 

There was once a number called ‘R’

That scientists said set the bar

If it stayed below one

They said we had won

While others said Hey Lah dee Dah!

Wensleydale Rotary have resorted to zoom

To stay in touch without leaving their room

It works fairly well

But some asleep fell

Susan wishes she had a button for “BOOM”

In the midst of this Covid-19

Online Yoga might help keep you lean

So Zoom Classes I’ve taught

And Mike’s ‘techie’ support

Has kept me completely serene.

In the midst of this Covid-19

We obsess about hand-wash hygiene

We sing ‘Happy Birthday’

And wash all germs away

Till we’re utterly, spotlessly clean

A Rotarian leader called Susan

Did Joe Wickes online with no shoes on

While tightening her core

She slipped on the floor

And now has a bum with a bruise on

There was a disease from China

Which at first, seemed quite minor

But it is more than a cold

Now it’s taken hold

And knackered a business for Dinah

Covid 19 is rubbish she said

Not using the brain in her head

So she partied with friends

And bucked all the trends

And now they’re all sick or are dead

As I walked one fine sunny day on the Shawl

I met an old lady who had had a bad fall

Refusing help, she said No! No!

And other words meaning ‘off you go’

She was most insistent that I kept my distance, that’s all.

Our members are mainly retired

and the club is very admired

They're not a bad bunch

they meet over lunch

but only when covid’s expired

We’re taking to Facetime and Zoom

Whilst we can’t have folks in our room

It’s a new way to do stuff

And although it may feel tough

It’s preferable to doom and gloom

Our meetings can't meet due to corona

We're missing each other's persona

All holidays stopped

they've closed all the shops

But thank god were not in Verona

There was a young man called Peter

Who liked the odd Senorita

But when Fay found out

She gave him a clout

And made him distance two metre!

Lockdown can make you so bored

And this will no doubt strike a chord

But there’s stuff we can do

And learn hobbies anew

What a fantastic personal reward

Lock down is a pain in the bum

And it can leave some folk feeling glum

But others make best of it

Paint, walking or knit

Or musical instruments they strum

Welcome to Rotarian Joe

Who complained that the meetings were slow,

He had an idea

But filled the members with fear

So now we think he must go.                      

Come and meet President Susan

She tried so hard to enthuse them

At home with her dogs

She persisted with blogs

Now it’s meetings on zoom for the season.

Tesco one-way system is pants

You can hear the customer rants

As the lingerers won’t budge

And you try not to nudge

Though whisper some swear word chants