Tom Morgan-Lee

President Rod inducted Trish Waring as a new member to our Club and Trish thanked members for their welcome.

Our Speaker was Tom Morgan-Lee on the History of Alcoholic Beverages and Cocktails – AKA "A Rum do"

With planning foresight worthy of any banana Republic we had today a slightly inappropriate cocktail of a speech by a purveyor of alcoholic beverages and cocktails and a Vote of Thanks proposed by a teetotal Rotarian (now there's a novelty) now reliant only on the Holy Spirit – a spiritual mix with a difference.

However, having been a spirited drinker especially during my teenage years, I was not completely baffled by Tom's intriguing commentary on the history of booze, neat and disguised. We learnt that beers, ales and the like were first brewed in the 1700s but spirits, as we know them, not until the 1900s. However, some of the gin, whisky and vodka in those early days was not especially palatable and to disguise this other ingredients were added – hence the cocktail - just a cunning ruse to disguise terrible booze.

Cocktails went out of fashion in the 1960s and 1970s but made a comeback in the 1980s although nowadays the ingredients are somewhat more refined but still intoxicating. Today a cocktail will normally comprise an alcoholic spirit, usually white, of 40% proof, a sweet liqueur 18.5% proof for flavour and something sour, usually a fruit juice.

With considerable bravado (assuredly not spirit induced) Tom undertook a practical demonstration of the art of mixing a cocktail. His first mistake was enlisting Rotarian Olwyn’s help. Using a run-of-the-mill cocktail shaker Tom instructed Olwyn to pour in white rum to the count of 10 (presumably because it provides the knockout punch), melon liqueur (yuck!), pineapple juice, and an unknown ingredient each of these being poured to the lesser count of five, plus ice. You could try this at home but first read the next paragraph.

Tom's next mistake was to ask Olwyn to shake the mixture. One thing Rotarian Olwyn cannot be accused of is a lack of spirit and in the best manner of the bartender in Cheers she proceeded to vigorously, even violently shake the cocktail shaker with frenzied enthusiasm. Ms Payton made one minor error with catastrophic but hilarious consequences when she failed to keep a grip on the cap of said shaker. The resultant cascade of rum, melon liqueur, pineapple juice and ice was illustrative of the consequences of how not to do it, often the most efficacious form of instruction.

The resulting release of fizzing cocktail left Olwyn visibly shaken and stirred as well as wringing wet.  

Covered in "Rumelopine" cocktail and embarrassment. A somewhat chastened and red-faced Olwyn oozed her way back to her seat to a tumultuous measure of applause and the biggest roar of approval heard in the Peggy Killick Suite for many an ear, where somebody had thoughtfully placed a Morrison’s 5p plastic bag to protect the chair covering (I'm told that the bags in Sainsburys are thick so they’re free).

Next time she will prepare two cocktails simultaneously and juggle at the same time - an idea maybe for a fund raising event? I wonder, is Tom contemplating Paytonting the technique!

Rotarians, me excluded though tempted, enjoyed a sampling of the Tom/Olwyn concoction or what was left of it. I have made a note of those members who had to be spirited away from the premises.

One member, who shall remain nameless but who lives very adjacent to St Mary's, Acton, had the gall to question the use of White Spirit – I wonder how much sampling he’d done!

Tom currently plies his profession as well as customers at The Crown Hotel – Booze in Crown Mews - having once worked at The Residence and elsewhere beyond Nantwich. He also has his own part-time business dispensing these heady mixtures via a Mobile Cocktail Bar.

Thank you Tom, son of Nicola, for "nows for something completely different" talk. See you at the Casa Brasserie - for a fruit cocktail.

P. S. If Rtn Olwyn Payton invites you round for cocktails remember to take a sou’wester.

Rtn. Peter Mascarenhas