Battle of the River Baise - Clive Rees

16th March 2023 Battle of the River Baise – Clive Rees

Clive fooled us all with his title, as this was the story of their boating holiday with friends Barry and Sue in 1999, but it did turn out somewhat risky and traumatic!

After the month of July had suffered permanent rain, I think it all started at Le Mas d ’Agenais with Eglise Saint Vincent, who Clive felt offered some protection to travellers(not clear whether that covered ‘sailors’?! So, they set up in this 8-birth super tanker, of which apparently Clive is Captain and Barry Chief Engineer?  Off they go towards Buzet on what Clive says is the Canal du Midi (I could only find Canal Lateral a la Garonne?)

Would you believe they discovered a ‘lay by’, where they moored and pressed a buzzer to call a pair of Horses with flash cart, driven by Nicole, to take them wine tasting at the nearby Chateau. Unfortunately, one of the two horses Henry had some stomach problem, so let Hercule, the other horse do all the work. This could be seen by Henry’s chain remaining slack, but Nicole observed and flicked the whip at Henry, but this resulted in “the passage of highly smelly wind”.  By the time they reached the top of the hill, enough gas to melt the ice cap.  This reminded Clive of his young days when Grandma insisted he collect from behind the horses manure for her roses!

So on they went having purchased several cases of wine from the Chateau, eventually joining the Petite Baise river, which appeared almost Red and clearly in flood conditions. They sighted a Fire Brigade boat which were looking for broken trees and as they entered the river, the boat proceeded backwards. Rapid action was taken sending the Engineer below decks to sort out the injector pump, which miraculously was successful! So, on to Moncrabeau, where apparently, they have an annual competition for ‘liars’, from which, naturally politicians are banned! They decided to treat themselves to a restaurant meal, but unfortunately it was closed for a wedding party.  Not to be outdone, they found a nearby campsite and they entered the Marquee and asked for ‘steak frites’ for 4, to be told there was only enough for 3 , which turned out to be one piece cut into 3!  Still the rain continued to fall, but they returned to their boat, which they had moored under a bridge and off to bed. Next morning Clive wakes up with his feet 30 degrees higher than his head, boat stuck under the bridge.  So, Barry and Ros were quickly dispatched to the ropes to sort out the dilemma. Onwards then to Nerac, where they saw the Palace of Prince Henry and it continued to rain, to such an extent that they were ‘spat’ out of one lock when the water was flooded in from the side of the lock. Finally arriving in Condom, where their Museum claims that invention and Clive thanked St, Vincent for his ‘care of passage’!

Alan W. gave a humorous vote of thanks suggesting that with all the risks that occurred they all came smiling through having good fun and members joined in with appreciative applause.                                   AR