Digital Bulletin No 91

January 2026

Panel showing our Club's name, Graham's name as our President and the 2025-26 Rotary theme.

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January 2026

From the editor’s desk

I wish you all a Very Happy New Year.

It has been many years since I made any New Year Resolutions. I’m sure there are many changes I should be making to my life in 2026. It’s not just that I was always very bad at keeping New Year Resolutions. The truth is that by about the 4th January I had usually forgotten what they were.

So I won’t be making any. That’s just about me personally, though. How about our Club and ourselves as its members? What resolutions should we be making? Perhaps some of us should be thinking about being more involved, personal circumstances permitting? For the start of the next Rotary year in July we will need new First and Second Vice Presidents. Anne Moriaty will be our President for the first half of our centenary year in 2027 and the First Vice President will become President for the second half. From memory, the centenary of our charter falls in December.

December meetings

December 4

We held our Special General and Business Meetings on Zoom. At the SGM we made the following appointments for 2026-27:

President: Anne Moriaty
Secretary: Francis Whitbread
Assistant Secretary: Keith Dabbs
Treasurer: Bob Booker
Independent Examiner: Anne Moriaty

December 11

Report by Francis Whitbread

With President Graham having a well-deserved week off, I was pleased to chair the meeting at Ivy Hill on 11 December.

A Rotary pull-up Christmas banner We began the meeting with a minute’s silence in memory of our honorary member Dave Monk, whose death we learned of on 5 December.

Our speaker was Sue Glynn, the manager of Chelmer Village pre-school, who spoke about pre-school opportunities. Sue began by telling us her path to her current position. Her background was in retail but, after having her own family, she moved into child minding, which she did for eighteen years before moving to Mayland and taking a position at a pre-school in Woodham Mortimer.

Funding difficulties meant that the position became part time, so Sue moved to her current role as manager at Chelmer Village, where her pre-school is run by a charity. Sue emphasised that the first five years of a child’s life are crucial in setting a foundation for learning. The school normally has 30 to 40 children per annum and achieved an outstanding grade with OFSTED in 2022.

The nature of the work has changed over the time of Sue’s involvement and is now focused much more on childcare for working parents. Funding continues to be a major issue, with a shortfall of around £700 per child per annum, which the charity endeavours to make up by its own fundraising. I mentioned to Sue that we would be happy to host a quiz for them in the same way as we do for , to provide a bit of assistance. Sue is also to let us have details of a screen they urgently need, so we can hopefully assist with a donation towards its cost.

December 18

Report by Keith Otter

Twenty-four members and guests gathered for today’s Christmas Party at the Ivy Hill Hotel. Unfortunately a number of members were unable to attend because of ill-health. Our rarely-seen Christmas banner came out for the occasion. We’re not sure whether the banner’s crazy angle in the photograph is due to the photographer or those who erected the banner.

The meal was as excellent as usual and was accompanied by the now traditional Christmas crackers - and the gentle murmur of conversation.

Graphic of a magician's top hat After the lunch, entertainment was provided by Paul Clancy of Prestige Conjuring. He started by telling us something about the history of magic. Stage magicians date back a long time. The premier organisation of magicians is The Magic Circle, which was founded in this country in the 19th century. The founders were two amateur magicians. The first meeting they called was attended by 32 magicians. A famous professional magician of the time agreed to become the first Chairman. He stepped down after a year. The next Chairman was another professional magician, who held office for 15 years.

Some people believe that you must invent a new trick in order to become a member of The Magic Circle but this is not true. However, there is a three-stage pathway to membership. The first step is to submit an application supported by three existing members. The last step requires the applicant to put on a magic performance lasting eight minutes before a small audience, three of whom will be making notes. All three must give the applicant a mark of at least 65% in order for him or her to pass. Only two attempts are allowed.

Paul became interested in performing magic as a child. As a young man he applied for membership and passed all three stages of the selection process at the first attempt. He performed magic on a purely amateur basis until he retired from the police, when he turned professional. He has now retired as a professional magician as well but still puts on performances for family and friends. (He knows President Graham as they were both in the police.)

He followed his talk with a live performance. He had everyone completely mystified, even though some of us were sitting less than a metre from him. He had told us before he started that part of the art was misleading the audience so that they didn’t pay close attention to what he was actually doing. Even with that hint, we failed to work out how he performed the tricks he did. Pat reckoned he was the best magician she has seen.

Save those stamps!

Some used stamps Fewer people are sending Christmas cards these days. Who can blame them? The postage costs 87p each for 2nd class and a whopping £1.70 for 1st class. It’s far easier and cheaper to send everyone emails or even e-cards. And, of course, our members can opt to send their Christmas greetings to other members through our December Bulletin each year.

So, how many Christmas cards did you receive through the post last month? Apart from some sent by commercial enterprises and charities, they should all have borne stamps. Please don’t throw them away! Give them to Geoff Dickman instead. He will pass them on to a charity that can sell them to raise money for its funds.

Geoff can also pass to charities the “silver” foil used to wrap sweets and chocolates. Used blister packs from medication can be recycled at many pharmacies.

A tragic tale of unrequited love

Cartoon of a smiling king Once upon a time there was a far-off country ruled by King Omy (Oh my), who lived with his wife, Queen Goodness, and their beautiful daughter, Princess Blooming.

Now King Omy wanted Princess Blooming to marry the Prince of the neighbouring country, Prince Whatta. So he invited Prince Whatta to visit his kingdom so he could pay court to Princess Blooming.

But Princess Blooming was really in love with a local lad, friend Pong. So she rejected the advances of Prince Whatta.

The result was that King Omy was always in a temper, Queen Goodness was continually in tears and friend Pong was in fear for his life. He had good reason, because King Omy had him assassinated.

When she learned of the death of her lover, Princess Blooming died of grief. Prince Whatta threw himself from a castle window and Queen Goodness drowned in her own tears. When he saw the results of what he had done, King Omy stabbed himself.

Their bodies lay undiscovered for a whole month. Then a palace servant looking for them found King Omy, Queen Goodness, Prince Whatta, Princess Blooming and friend Pong all lying dead and cried: “Oh my goodness, what a blooming pong!”

Editor’s postscript

Stylised drawing of a bludhing otter Oh, dear. I haven’t even got near the end and I’ve already run out of material. I have even resorted to including that rather pathetic joke above.

My apologies if you’ve sent me material and I’ve somehow managed to lose it, which is not beyond the bounds of possibility. Otherwise, what to do?

This is where I need your help. I won’t be able to continue producing the Bulletin if there is nothing to put in it. The only items I’ve got “in stock” are a few more pathetic jokes and some from Christmas crackers that are not going to be relevant until next Christmas.

One of my cousins sends me jokes from time to time but they are usually groan-inducing. Some of them I would be too embarrassed to print here. I find other jokes by searching the Internet.

But I also need something more substantial, particularly if it’s Rotary related. So please, members, get writing!