My Cell-Free Days

29th July 2024

Background Story

On June 25th, 2024, I misplaced my phone, or more accurately, it was taken from me. While volunteering at the Anthropology and Education Conference in Senate House at the University of London—a cost-effective way to participate in such events—I took a lunch break with new friends. We decided on Pastation for its hearty, cheesy pasta dishes. Opting for takeaway, we settled in nearby Russell Square, basking under the warm sun as we conversed over our meal among the many park visitors. Following my usual routine, I snapped a photo of the tempting lunch and carelessly set my phone down on the grass (a mistake in hindsight). A pair of young women soon approached us, distracting us with an unfamiliar language as one came close, gesturing towards our empty food bag with a menu displaying chicken. Assuming they needed food or money, we regretfully declined to assist. I offered a Ferrero chocolate which was oddly refused, sparking curiosity rather than concern. They left after repeating their unintelligible request, and despite feeling awkwardly relieved, we pitied their apparent desperation and resumed our chatter. It wasn't until I was heading back to the conference that I realized my phone was missing. In a state of alarm, I retraced my steps, hoping for a simple case of forgetfulness. However, recalling the photo I had taken, I recognized that the disruptive visit from the girls was a deliberate distraction. I felt stupid for not seeing the signs sooner.

The Cell-Free days

Day 1: The Realization

Yes, I lost my phone and I have been feeling quite strange since then. I have experienced both a sense of misplaced and a new-found sense of freedom. Now suddenly my life is different as if I have come out of a game or The Matrix while still watching while others remain inside. I'm no longer immersed in endless scrolling online; instead, I'm fully engaged and present in the real world. I am present and observing things around me, especially things within me. The very reason I am writing this is because now I have the time to thoroughly process my emotions, think and feel deeply to contemplate their origins and document them as a means to comprehend and validate my true feelings. 

On my way home, I watched people stuck to their phones, and while they were there physically, their eyes were taking them all over, skipping quickly from one world to another. That was just me this morning unbothered by what anyone else did and just consumed by what the algorithm in my phone had to offer. But I was free, and with this newfound time, I started a conversation with a lady sitting next to me. She shared how she was losing sight due to diabetes which she got about 30 years ago. At an age similar to mine now, she had arrived in the UK from Sri Lanka and diligently worked to support her family. Three decades on, she expressed regret for neglecting her health. Her story served as a poignant reminder that perhaps we are equally unaware of our dependency on electronic devices, which could potentially compromise our mental well-being both at the present and in the future.

It didn't even take a whole day for me to realize how much I rely on my phone. I was anxious as I yearned for the digital assistant that provided everything from time to navigation, communication with others, and more. Not being able to document the great moments I experienced and the amazing people I met was a loss I deeply felt. It dawned on me that the experiences I'm having wouldn't join the compilation of memories that my phone, through Google Photos and Facebook, consistently compiled and displayed my life's history.

Additionally, I felt out of touch with the daily lives of my friends and family. Upon returning home, I quickly turned to my laptop to catch up on what I had missed. I informed my loved ones that I would be harder to reach temporarily. I glanced through my emails and social media, only using the internet for essential tasks like the weather forecast and confirming travel plans for the following day before going to bed.

Day 2: Feeling of missing out - FOMO

Another day without the phone was both liberating and anxiety-inducing. I wanted to maintain an optimistic outlook as I shared with my friends that it's just going to be 0 screen time this week. During the conference, I was largely content as I absorbed information from the presenters and jotted notes in my diary. However, there were moments—during commutes, breaks, and occasionally throughout the day—when the absence of my phone was felt keenly. I realized that using a mobile phone is as contagious as a yawn; observing someone on their phone often prompts you to reach for your own. During the conference when people took out their phones to click pictures of the slide that showed captivating images or enlightening information, I experienced a sense of FOMO. The conference was like a sea of knowledge with many panels sharing insightful discussions and showing rare artifacts which I wanted to capture through my phone, share on socials, and revisit later, but I didn’t have any option. 

Once I even asked a friend to take a picture of my supervisor presenting and send it to me via email. Later, when I attended the launch of the Migration Menu Podcast at my university, I didn't even have to say anything, my friends would take all the pictures and send them to me on my WhatsApp. But unfortunately, I couldn’t post anything in my Instagram through my laptop nor could I repost the stories I was tagged in. That was very frustrating as I was so used to sharing things in the present and it had been a habit of creating content for my Insta friends. This reliance on real-time sharing and content creation for my Instagram audience prompted introspection about social media habits: Why am I compelled to post so consistently? For whose benefit?

This experience revealed how much I enjoyed the attention of social media and having to have my story shared even if most people who see it do not care much about it. What good is it to continuously market oneself as this happy, outgoing, social person if it's only for attention-seeking purpose or because everyone else is doing so? With lots of debate within me I asked Should I stop sharing stuff on social media? Is attention the sole driver?

On reflection, the conclusion was that sharing experiences isn't just an act of ego; it serves as a reminder of one's presence. I thought I am just sharing my stuff out there just to remind people that I exist. Also, will I not exist if I don't post? Will people forget me if I don't post? I concluded by thinking I am going to post as I am a social person, and I am an Anthropologist; I like connecting with people. I will post to reach out to my friends, to say I am doing fine, I am doing great, I am here, I am okay, not just for others but also for myself. I will just be careful not to drain all my energy and time while posting things and looking at things being posted.

Day 3: Can’t skip The Matrix

On the third day, I cheated as I took my laptop with me and showed myself occasionally online. I gave myself these reasons: I had missed an important email the other day, a friend was coming to the conference with whom I wanted to communicate, and the volunteering task required me to keep up with the communication on WhatsApp. The world has become such that we cannot imagine our lives without tech and gadgets. The laptop gave a good company that day also when I tried going back to social media to scroll through random stuff, my inner self kept saying I shouldn’t be doing so. I said back to myself it's not like I am on a phone; I will stop as I must close the laptop at some point. Sometimes, you just want to switch off from the boring real world and seek out pleasure in visiting various virtual worlds. Yet, I continually reminded myself to remain mindful and in charge of my digital engagement, rather than allowing it to govern me.

Fast forward to Day 10: The Final Message

After being without a phone for 10 days, I finally acquired one. The habit of frequent phone usage was already waning, and I aimed to maintain this by minimizing my dependence on it. However, I had to ensure that all the necessary applications were installed, and this increased my screen time from 0  to about 2 hours a day, which is gradually increasing with time.

However, I am using it thoughtfully and I aim to keep doing so. With the experience of not having a phone for 10 days and the realizations that I have had, I plan to take a break from the phone every now and then and try not to exceed the 2:30 hours of screen time. It is tough to have control over your phone usage as you rely on your phone for so many things. Especially when you have nothing else to do and you are bored, you are habituated to checking on your phone as it does very good job of keeping you occupied and mostly distracted. Social media, particularly platforms like TikTok, are commonly used for entertainment—I used to spend a lot of time there but chose not to reinstall the app this time.

Now I am making a conscious effort to stay out of my phone and engage in other activities like drawing random things, picking my brain about how I am feeling about things and journalling it down, reading a book, going on a walk, playing with my nephew, exercising or just dancing spontaneously. When I incorporate these things into my life, I don’t have to think about my screen time as it automatically gets lower. The key lesson here is the importance of using our phones more mindfully I wish people found ways to have similar reflections on how much they are attached to their phones without having to lose their phones. So, I challenge you to either spend a full day without your phone or take a lengthy visit to a park without it, just to observe how it feels.

Image created by Bandana using AI on Canva.