Would I Lie to You?

Another departure from the normal in these not-so-normal times. Members Forbes Lockhart and Grant Cargill colluded to call the Club together online and organised a version of the highly-entertaining TV show, “Would I Lie To You?”.

Forbes took the reins with a passable impression of the TV host Rob Brydon and asked Irene Walker to present her truth or lie story.

Irene related a tale which also referred to a TV programme of a previous century, “Dr Finlay’s Casebook”. While in primary school, said Irene, she had been co-opted with some of her classmates as an extra for an episode shot in Stirling. However, her enjoyment of the experience was more or less ruined by a stomach bug infecting some of the weans. This resulted in her script being ruined by one child being sick all over it – and over Irene! Cries of “Yeugh” all round from the listeners…

As takes place in the real programme, three members questioned Irene on the veracity of her account, with mixed opinions. She announced the story was indeed a lie.

Next up was President Jim Allison, who recalled an occasion when he was a student in 1975. He told of returning from spectating at a Glasgow football match to begin his shift at 02.00 as a mortuary porter in Dundee’s Ninewells Hospital. But the strain of the day’s events (Let’s face it, he must have been watching Dundee United to suffer that strain…) had worn him out and he fell asleep in the mortuary elevator.

As far as we know, there were no other bodies stretched out beside him…

This turned out to be….TRUE!!!

Kyffin Roberts then related a tale from his time working in Cairo. On a factory visit, he returned to find his parked car had been walloped by a train, been completely rolled over and badly damaged. Kyffin thought he had parked on a disused railway line when in fact it was still being used by the factory’s industrial train. Fortunately, he said, the car was no expensive Ferrari but a Russian Niva. The questioners got this one wrong. The story was true.

Gordon Moir took the virtual floor and told of his epic career as a stalwart along with his cousins in the Bells Tug o’ War team. Back in the 1980s, in one particular year the team won the championship at every Highland Games, culminating in an resounding victory at the Braemar Gathering. “We were the self-proclaimed World Champions”, said Gordon. “Mind you, a bit like the Yanks claiming to be world champions in American football, no other country plays it.”

Gordon embellished his story so much, the questioners reckoned his imagination had “run wild” and correctly identified his story as a lie.

Clearly, Kyffin Roberts also has an imagination which can stretch the bounds of possibility. He was invited to give the audience a second helping of the truth or lie variety.

This time the venue switched to the Philippines where Kyffin had a break from work to play golf. On the first tee, a chicken raced across in front of Kyffin as he struck his drive – and the ball killed the chicken outright! Much to the delight of Kyffin’s caddie – who took it home for that night’s dinner.

Although this could have been the only “birdie” ever to be recorded by Kyffin the questioners – in fact the entire Club – got this one right. Definitely a lie!

Carol Morris thanked Forbes and Grant for the amount of work they had put in to organise such a really good fun event. In addition, she questioned whether the participants were all inveterate liars – or is it just that the members are easily conned?