Isle of Man (TT)(TeeTotalNot) Cycle run

The Mad Monks of Manx

MANX PRANKS

With bikes packed securely into Chris Russell's new van

The club's fourteenth cycle trip heads for the Isle of Man,

Nine lycra-clad Rotarians tuned to fever-pitch perfection

But sadly lacking Linda's sense of direction.

Some found Gavin's caution hard to bear

As we arrive at the ferry with almost 3 hours to spare,

But he had a cunning plan to minimise the moans

He'd found a cafe` in Heysham serving freshly-baked scones.

Unfortunately, the England/Wales match on the ferry TV

Provided Ivor and Willie their perfect opportunity,

To witter on endlessly about Hibes ending a century of pain

As they recounted the minutia of the cup final, again and again.

Rushen Abbey proved a perfect venue for the boys

They could play for hours with the collection of children's games and toys,

While novice monks Duguid, Mannion and Locke

Offered prayers for the salvation of their Rotary flock.

Despite barbed wire blocking the public right of way

Intrepid Nigel was determined to follow his ordnance survey,

Heedless of the chaos, he wasn't going to fail

So off we went careering down a knee-knocker, rock-strewn, gravelly trail.

Next stop, the Sound Cafe` overlooking the Calf of Man

With such steep hill climbs we'd surely need the van,

But where was the elusive chauffeur, John Frew?

Why, back in the Falcon's Nest enjoying a brew.

The Cregneash Heritage Village proved a cultural gem

Offering real insight into how islanders eked out a living back then,

How blazing embers from an explosion on the munitions brig Lily

Landed, still burning, 2 miles away on the thatched cottage of poor Harry Kelly.

Most guesses of the cycling distance covered willl be wildly awry

Cos frankly, as we're getting older, we didn't really bother to try,

But when it came to eating and drinking our fill

The shocking evidence is there in the damning bar bill.